dichotomy of empathy

On one hand, there is sports, history, or whatever triumphs man has accomplished.

On the other, faith and what the Supreme Being has accomplished through us.

Sometimes it is so confusing to be a person stuck in a "you can do it" world. Your core shouts and screams God, and yet the world is surrounded by anecdotes that exemplifies the "triumph of the human spirit". I just finished watching underdog Melanie Oudin defeat Maria Sharapova in the US Open. You know the drill: Down by a set, she rallies back to defeat her in straight sets to defeat the larger-than-life icon. Game ends, she drops her racket, face flushes red, eyes tear up.

In response, we tear up. Something we call "tears of joy". Perhaps sometimes that is the only thing left that makes us feel human in a crowded world like this. People resonate to different things. Some manifest their human instinct of empathy by reading novels, watching movies, climbing mountains, solving difficult problems. I am a guilty sports fan. No matter what you can associate with, there is a common thread running across all these: the resolution of the plot, the overcoming the natural forces of the world, the come-from-behind victory: the triumph of the human spirit.

And yet, through my life of faith in God, through its fluctuations, I have learned that it is impossible to grow and mature in Christ if one looks merely within oneself. If my motive is always to see myself lifted up, and prayer is just a means for me to get by my own trials and to secure my own success, then I am no better than a leech. Truly, faith in God is an acceptance of His blessings and mandates alike. It is allowing God to use you for selfless endeavors. Whatever triumphs I have is not of the human spirit, it is because the Holy Spirit fills the empty vessel that is me.

So, having said all that, going back to the idea of empathy. I wonder if empathy can be beyond an experience. If there are various spirits through which success can be achieved, then it would comfort me to know that I rejoice over things that advance the Kingdom of God. However, sometimes I feel like empathy is such a primal instinct that it takes more than just a tear and a smile to know right from wrong, good from bad. In an era where every single action can be spun into different partisan representations, it can be blinding to allow feelings and emotions to guide our lives of faith.

All I hope for is that I am led by what I want, and not be blinded and be led by what I feel. Or even what I feel I want.

I will humbly say that I am not there yet, but I believe that getting there is just a matter of blocking out distractions of the human world. One day I will be able to tear up upon seeing another comeback story and, instead of saying "that was all me", I will be able to sigh and say "Praise God".